Losing

I'm losing what I never thought could be lost.
Now everything reminds me of it.
Competing leaves you vulnerable.
Is my logic flawed?
Should competing be the thing to do when I have reached bleeding's peak?
It doesn't make sense.
But that's love I guess.
I thought the sharp pains that it could inflict were behind me, in my teenage years.
The rude awakening is that no.
No, it's not behind me.
It could surround me if I let it.

The scary thing is that which is all in the head has become my archrival.
My own mind has been my sole source of progress and hindrance.
Lately, the hindrances seem to have multiplied.
But, through some combination of cerebral chemistry,
I will have to solve this puzzle.
And keep myself from hindering myself anymore.

I cannot deny one happiness due to the incompatibilities with me therein.
Even if I think and FEEL TO KNOW that we would be perfect.
I've been thrown from my comfortable post of many years.
On high, never fearing the height of it all.
But, now, I've come to realize I face a freefall.
The past days have unveiled its acceleration.
To where it's heading, I am unsure.
That's the part that hurts... I just don't know.

If you know me, you know I like to know.
You know?
I don't take comfort with pressing a foot on one side and not knowing what it will do to the other.
There's no clear plan of action, though, either;
As I don't know what anything will result in.
This is new ground, but I don't feel like retreating anymore.
I know what that brings and it is really not good for anyone.

I miss things, times, and places.
I really do right now.
My only rational hope is that it becomes easier.

Facebook DNS failure

I wonder what this means? I really want to update my status on Facebook laughing at the DNS failure. Some people think it's being DDOS (distributed denial-of-service) attacked. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial-of-service_attack#Distributed_attack

I hope it's not all erased, though. I would think a backup of all of Facebook isn't a real-time thing.

Anatomeeeeeeeeee

Gah, this anatomy course is so foreign to my brain. It's just looking and memorizing. It takes... eek gad... time! There is some logic, though. Yay for Latin. My head hurts after studying the internal anatomy of the lamprey (which is one weird mofo) and I've got 4 other specimens to go; internal and external. Blah!

Look who it is

Well, it's Thursday evening. I'm sitting at work until midnight with only one class tomorrow. I didn't switch my books out before I left, so I have nothing to do for class, but I thought I'd do something kind of more productive than nodding off to sleep while playing on Facebook.

To get a minor in Math, I took these two classes; The History of Mathematics and Real Analysis I. History of Math is sweet; going from crude, ancient methods to modern ones. Real Analysis is really dry. Proofs, blah! "Prove that the square root of 7 is not a rational number." The word
'analysis' tricked me into thinking it was going to be more fun. I guess I'll read the course descriptions next time?

I thought I'd be swimming in that student loan cash by now, but things have been taking forever this time around. The Bursar's Office says it should be in my account by tomorrow, so I've got my fingers crossed. I've been broke since Spring Break hah, so it's not that big of a deal. I'm glad that the utility company understands, haha.

I'll be done with my degree after this semester. I'm gonna end up with a major in Biology, and two minors in Political Science and Mathematics. Shaaaa! I think of it as a math-science-english triple-whammy (to make myself feel better, heh). Since I took too long to file my intent to graduate, I'll have to stick around another semester before I actually get my piece of paper. It's kind of better this way, so it won't be a lie when I say I have 1 year of management experience.

Steve

Yay, Steve Jobs is back in commission. It was a big deal to Memphis that he chose to have his liver transplant performed here. I'm just trying to stay awake as to force my sleep cycle into a better gear. Analysts and journalists are saying that Apple is up 67% without Steve Jobs even in the picture, which I find silly. He left when the economy as a whole was in shambles, mid-February 2009. March 1, 2009, need I remind you, was the worst day for trading in decades. Almost every decent stock has rebounded by around 67% since then, so their argument is flawed. They need Steve Jobs and they know they do. Analysts and journalists keep instigating. It's like middle school or something.

Let's see... about to get another raise, woo hoo! Not a promotion, but hey, I'll take it. I feel kind of spoiled at my new job actually. I'll sit through some of my co-workers getting yelled at for how they talk on the phone, then a minute later ask if I can take an early lunch and they're all smiles and saying "of course!" I know it's because I do a good job and stuff, but still makes me feel a bit awkward.

It's official: Rico is my favorite thing in the whole world. I mean, he'll lay around with me all day if I want to; he'll play all day if I want to. It's just great, and he's got that doggie goatee and those big eyes that make him look so much like a little person. He my favorite puppy doodooheads, yes he is. Well, I think I've exhausted my blogging faculties for the morning at least.

Spring break just started, but I'm feeling kind of down. I've got this lung thing going on and every time I seem to feel better, I'll eat something and then I can't get a deep breathe in. Very frustrating. Also, it's supposed to rain in Memphis through the entirety of spring break. Yeah. Well, if this lung thing is still bothering me, I'll just have to go to the doc (and pay out the ass for it). I don't know, I thought I was ready for a break, but I guess not from school. I need to get back with my friends, man. They really can make the world go 'round.

Carzzz

So I am looking for a new-to-me used car. My car has been great until I got T-boned by that ass with my liability-only car insurance. Apparently, he hit me so hard that the entire frame that holds the front part of the engine is cracked all the way through, the suspension shafts are disconnected, the CV axle on the driver's side needed to be replaced, and now the tires just wobble a lot.

Oh, I did feel proud today when I took it in to get the front realigned (free because I bought lifetime alignment when I got new tires) because I noticed on the receipt that he only added lifetime TIRE ROTATION instead of alignment. I called over a mechanic and he fixed the work order and saved me another trip to Firestone. So, hopefully they don't complain about the frame being f-ed up and decline working on it, but if they do realign it, it should give me a couple more weeks (maybe months) of driving time with my good ol' '94 Mazda Protege.