Wednesday, April 23, 2008
One bummer
Well, I guess there's one thing that I like more about LiveJournal... the option to make an entry private, though I guess the most private entry is in a hand-written journal. Oi vey. (sp?)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Tennessee Senate updates
Crap! I looks like I won't be able to carry a flask in my car. I'm not sure how the new law reads, but I think they are doing away with the "open container loophole" in Tennessee. Senator Beverly Marrero was violently against this, which I was proud of. It will take a LONG time to get Tennesseans to quit drinking in their cars! Really, it will just add to the taxing of the poor for being poor because, like Marrero said, the rich can still get as drunk as they want in their limos. I am against drinking in the car, but I just don't see this law doing anything positive. Also, they added an additional $250 to the already high ($2,000) fine for a DUI. Proposed by Sen. Raymond Finney, this is yet another law that will not do anything but further hinder the poor. Who gets charged far more often upon conviction of a DUI? The poor. Who could go to jail if they cannot fork up an extra $2,250 in a year's time? The poor. I want to see some good laws proposed. Oh yeah, I'm also not sure about the terms of this law, but the republicans were trying so hard to pass this law against abortion even though the TN Constitution might be amended soon in a way that would render this law useless. These guys ALWAYS say "If it could save one life... just one life... why would you not pass it?!?" Moral highchairs! Upidste!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Huperzine thoughts
http://grande.nal.usda.gov/ibids/index.php?mode2=detail&origin=ibids_references&therow=35543
Too much huperzine = schizophrenic symptoms; be careful. Just use it once a day. This pretty much ruined 3 of the 4 study days I had that were critical for my organic chemistry exam. I was attributed my symptoms to my car wreck, but I'm pretty sure it was just too much huperzine, or rather taking it many more than 3 times a day. It just builds up, I guess. The half-life of it is 4 hours, so it seems rather odd that it would build up so quickly, but I guess it does. This stuff works, but just use it once a day, maybe twice a day max.
After reading that I just had too much choline built up, I also read that anti-cholinergics (of which benadryl is one) help alleviate these symptoms. What do you know?! After I came back home, I took a benadryl and within an hour I felt GREAT. Normal is so awesome after not feeling yourself for a couple days. Jeez I'm glad I'm not schizophrenic, man. Click that link and look up the definitions for some of the symptoms... alogia - The inability to speak because of mental deficiency, mental confusion, or aphasia. I definitely felt this to a degree, not being able to verbalize the way I felt. I'm gonna stick with good ol' coffee for the next couple days then go back to a low-ass dose of huperzine right before I do some cramming! Good luck on finals and wish me luck; I will need it!
Too much huperzine = schizophrenic symptoms; be careful. Just use it once a day. This pretty much ruined 3 of the 4 study days I had that were critical for my organic chemistry exam. I was attributed my symptoms to my car wreck, but I'm pretty sure it was just too much huperzine, or rather taking it many more than 3 times a day. It just builds up, I guess. The half-life of it is 4 hours, so it seems rather odd that it would build up so quickly, but I guess it does. This stuff works, but just use it once a day, maybe twice a day max.
After reading that I just had too much choline built up, I also read that anti-cholinergics (of which benadryl is one) help alleviate these symptoms. What do you know?! After I came back home, I took a benadryl and within an hour I felt GREAT. Normal is so awesome after not feeling yourself for a couple days. Jeez I'm glad I'm not schizophrenic, man. Click that link and look up the definitions for some of the symptoms... alogia - The inability to speak because of mental deficiency, mental confusion, or aphasia. I definitely felt this to a degree, not being able to verbalize the way I felt. I'm gonna stick with good ol' coffee for the next couple days then go back to a low-ass dose of huperzine right before I do some cramming! Good luck on finals and wish me luck; I will need it!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Help for finals
These herbs will improve your memory like crazy! Seriously, you should give them a shot if you're feeling a little under-prepared for finals (like me), heh. Oh, and you won't be going through a depression like the adderall kids do!
Huperzine A: I take 50 mg every 2 hours when I'm studying hardcore or just really needing to get things done. Half-life is about 4 hours and can leave you feeling kind of dumb for a half hour or so.
Galantamine: I take 4 mg usually just once in a day because it has an 8 hour half-life.
Dosage is tricky. Too little = nothing. Too much = depression symptoms, not cool. I currently take the huperzine because the galantamine I have is in 8 mg form and I'm too lazy to break it open; plus I once took the 8 mg galantamine on an empty stomach and felt like absolute shit for 8 hours; 2 of which were in the bathroom. I don't know why, but it's pretty important to take these with some food; or at least it is for me to, heh.
Huperzine: GNC $14.99
Galantamine: search for Galantamind on the net (google.com/shopping) $28 or so.
Also, remember for you crazy people out there, there is always the pharma route where you can buy Aricept (donezepil), Memantine, or Exelon (rivastigmine). These are Alzheimer's drugs and Exelon is even available in a trans-dermal patch form.
Half-lives of the pharma drugs:
Aricept: 70 hours (almost 3 days)
Memantine: 60 - 100 hours (2.5 to 4 days)
Exelon: 1.5 hours (patch - 24 hours)
I looked up prices for these from indian pharms and they come to:
Aricept: $ 77 for 50 x 10mg = around $0.77 per day
Memantine $180 for 50 x 10mg = around $1.14 per day
Exelon: $ 38 for 50 x 6 mg = around $0.76 per day (not sure about patch)
I thought about doing one of these, but have had good luck with the huperzine. I bet there are some people out there taking this stuff that don't have Alzheimer's though, and I bet they don't forget much, but I also think they might experience significant down-regulation of their nicotinic acetylcholine receptors because of the huge half-lives. Though it may be a tad bit unethical to use the pharma without having Alzheimer's, it's a way lesser offense than all these college kids absolutely abusing adderall and such.
Huperzine A: I take 50 mg every 2 hours when I'm studying hardcore or just really needing to get things done. Half-life is about 4 hours and can leave you feeling kind of dumb for a half hour or so.
Galantamine: I take 4 mg usually just once in a day because it has an 8 hour half-life.
Dosage is tricky. Too little = nothing. Too much = depression symptoms, not cool. I currently take the huperzine because the galantamine I have is in 8 mg form and I'm too lazy to break it open; plus I once took the 8 mg galantamine on an empty stomach and felt like absolute shit for 8 hours; 2 of which were in the bathroom. I don't know why, but it's pretty important to take these with some food; or at least it is for me to, heh.
Huperzine: GNC $14.99
Galantamine: search for Galantamind on the net (google.com/shopping) $28 or so.
Also, remember for you crazy people out there, there is always the pharma route where you can buy Aricept (donezepil), Memantine, or Exelon (rivastigmine). These are Alzheimer's drugs and Exelon is even available in a trans-dermal patch form.
Half-lives of the pharma drugs:
Aricept: 70 hours (almost 3 days)
Memantine: 60 - 100 hours (2.5 to 4 days)
Exelon: 1.5 hours (patch - 24 hours)
I looked up prices for these from indian pharms and they come to:
Aricept: $ 77 for 50 x 10mg = around $0.77 per day
Memantine $180 for 50 x 10mg = around $1.14 per day
Exelon: $ 38 for 50 x 6 mg = around $0.76 per day (not sure about patch)
I thought about doing one of these, but have had good luck with the huperzine. I bet there are some people out there taking this stuff that don't have Alzheimer's though, and I bet they don't forget much, but I also think they might experience significant down-regulation of their nicotinic acetylcholine receptors because of the huge half-lives. Though it may be a tad bit unethical to use the pharma without having Alzheimer's, it's a way lesser offense than all these college kids absolutely abusing adderall and such.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Memphis Tigers
The Memphis Tigers are the true 2008 NCAA Champions. They really brought this city together for a brief moment of peace, kindness, and hope. Though we lost, I do not think the feelings will be forgotten as almost every Memphian sat on the edge of their seat or stood frigid watching the last moments of the game and realized it would not end in our favor. We are all in the same place, Memphis. We all feel a little sad, but we are not alone. It was not just the sports buffs or college kids; it was all of Memphis. It really felt like we needed to win this tournament, but I think that we should all take a step back and realize that Memphis really made itself a moment to remember when we were all united so effortlessly.
Keep your heads up, Memphis. We have shown ourselves capable of a great thing and keeping it up through the hard times is the ultimate test. Let us not allow what some men call a defeat actually defeat us.
Keep your heads up, Memphis. We have shown ourselves capable of a great thing and keeping it up through the hard times is the ultimate test. Let us not allow what some men call a defeat actually defeat us.
Fingers crossed
Jeez, this game is nerve-wrenching, but that Pontiac G8 commercial was one of the funniest commercials ever AND it was a car commercial. Awesome.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Where will we be in twenty years?
What I hate about the whole Democratic Peace Theory is that it will almost insure that in 50 or 60 years, Bush will be revered as some sort of visionary just like the once despised Harry Truman. Perhaps the hysteria resulting from MAD to MAS with "Star Wars", we will create a Cold War II and Russia (with China's help) can start to make everyone believe that the world could use a little more socialism instead of a lot more capitalism!
If only it were that simple. The unpredictability of the Islamic states would make the world during Cold War II far less stable than during Cold War I. As soon as the "Star Wars" system is operational in the 27 or so countries we will share the technology with, Iran will likely be allowed to enrich uranium all it wants. If not allowed, there will still be a major incentive for countries to make secret alliances with non-state members or terrorist groups and create a system to deliver tactical nuclear attacks (suit-case nukes) if they think it necessary. So, there will no longer be any worry about somebody pushing the big red button, it will be somebody carrying a suitcase! The hysteria will build, privacy rights of Americans will be violated to an even further extreme all until World War III breaks out and destroys everybody without a bunker and a 10 years supply of canned food! Woohoo!
If only it were that simple. The unpredictability of the Islamic states would make the world during Cold War II far less stable than during Cold War I. As soon as the "Star Wars" system is operational in the 27 or so countries we will share the technology with, Iran will likely be allowed to enrich uranium all it wants. If not allowed, there will still be a major incentive for countries to make secret alliances with non-state members or terrorist groups and create a system to deliver tactical nuclear attacks (suit-case nukes) if they think it necessary. So, there will no longer be any worry about somebody pushing the big red button, it will be somebody carrying a suitcase! The hysteria will build, privacy rights of Americans will be violated to an even further extreme all until World War III breaks out and destroys everybody without a bunker and a 10 years supply of canned food! Woohoo!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Bittersweet
Thursday April 3rd, 2008 - 3:31 p.m. - Bittersweet
Well, yesterday was as the subject implies... bittersweet. Not too much to talk about during the day except that I have to make a 3 ft by 4 ft poster board for a statistics research project due this coming Monday. Bleh; weekends have definitely evolved from times of a escape to times of punishment for those of us who lack good time-management skills. Actually, all my teachers have piled on stuff for next week; announcing test dates that are very soon, announcing a BIG-ASS project, and assigning journal responses to lengthy short stories! So, all these unexpected things in addition to the already scheduled stuff like other tests and online homeworks that take forever; I'll be having a lot of fun hah. One thing I am thankful for is that organic chemistry does not have all these unexpected bits of work due and the next test isn't for about three weeks. Needless to say, I still have to put in about an hour or two a day of organic chemistry studying to secure a good grade on the ACS nationally standardized final and have been probably averaging 15 minutes a day! Doh!
If only I grew up in Collierville where I hear an insane proportion of the children have "learning disabilities." How odd that all these children with "learning disabilities" are straight-A students now at the high-school and college level. It's a miracle! Capitalism works! The wealth in that area has allowed them to discover a way to cure these poor rich kids of their debilitating "learning disability"! Not exactly. Actually, there is no cure because there is no medically significant problem. They just treat the symptoms with freaking SPEED! Yep, I'm on another rant about how much I hate adderall, but the theme needs to be tweaked (no pun intended) to include all the forms of ADHD medicines that are just relied on for artificial motivation and determination. There's no strong will to learn in these kids, it's all external; the drugs make them that way! There's no struggle, so there's no drive, so they don't pay attention. It's not that they can't, it's just they don't want to, but their parents want them to say they go to a pediatrician (who, in my opinion, has no right to diagnose this condition due to the massive over-diagnosis of ADHD) and get started on Adderall, Adderall XR, Ritalin, Concerta, Cylert, Dexedrine, Desoxyn (which IS actually METH!), and now the new ones like Vyvanse (time-released amphetamine pill, as in all day ridiculous drive to do everything that needs to be done) and Daytrana (a time-released Ritalin patch that actually has fewer side-effects, which translates into MORE PSYCHOLOGICALLY ADDICTIVE)!
So the parents are so happy that their kid gets better grades and the kid is so happy because they are making their parents happy! Yay! So great! So basically, once this kid gets doped up on speed for long enough, he develops these intense interests in subjects that he was not nearly as interested in in the first place. Then, across the train tracks, there's this other kid who is interested in the same subject quite naturally, but life does its magic and as he grows, time-management becomes an art that needs to be practiced in order to preserve its effectiveness. So, on one side you have a kid who pops a pill and does not even have to think about time-management because he's on auto-pilot from all the dopamine (motivation / reward / reinforcement) and norepinephrine (focus, attention to detail, physical strength/speed) that his little pill has caused to be released into the synapses of his brain. The OTHER kid does love the subject, but at times gets exhausted or just interested in other things. These are perfectly natural occurrences that have happened for all time prior to the invention, mass-production, and mass-distribution of speed for the poor little rich, unmotivated white kids.
Yes, many people stop taking ADHD medicine after finishing school, but what was the net effect of these little pills? It could have caused this person to get the job because his GPA was 0.1 points higher than this other person's because the ADHD person could put in so many more hours of auto-pilot study time because, miraculously, if you wake up tired, groggy, depressed, confused, or just a little bit "off", all you have to do is take the pill and all those silly things can go away. Normal people deal with life as it is; "ADHD kids" are given a much larger capacity to succeed then they should. This disparity in almost a mirror of the state of our health-care with respect to race; how such a higher proportion of lower-class people are in poor health. The poor remain poor and go through life without speed; though interestingly enough, poor white communities have the worst meth problems. Hmm, so everybody thinks meth is the devil's drug and so on, but the FDA gets to say who gets to become a legal addict and who doesn't.
Many people that are aware of the wide-spread abuse of ADHD medicine will go to the doctor and fake ADD/ADHD symptoms to get the medicine. This is a gray area with me because it kind of reminds of trying to solve problems of violence with more violence which just doesn't work in the long run, but these people know that other people are doing it to get ahead and this is a dog eat dog world so you better strike the iron while it's hot. So you go to the doctor and stuff and blah blah blah act like you don't even know what's going on because you're such a freaking bad case of ADHD that you don't know how you'd function without some help from the Messiah's prescription pad and the golden DEA number that allows the pharmacy to give you a known drug of abuse. Problems arise: You must exhibit the symptoms (of course), and you must also seem like someone that does not abuse or SELL drugs. Hmm, who sells drugs? Oh yeah! Black people and mexicans! Who can get into trouble if they are caught writing prescriptions to someone who sells the drugs? The doctor! So, who has a natural tendency to be racist and discriminatory in the midst of protecting their job? Right, the doctor! (You're getting pretty good at this, I might add) Who has the money? White people. Who wants the money? Everybody. Who wants the drugs? Everybody. Who can get the drugs you go to prison for? Minorities. Who wants to go to jail? Nobody. Who actually goes to jail if they are caught with illegal drugs because they can't afford a fancy lawyer? Minorities AND all poor people; especially poor minorities. So now you see how there is much incentive to get your fix by going through the motions and buying into the ADHD phenomenon. You stay out of jail. You do everything that needs to be done, leaving plenty of time for fun and games, and you don't have to be associated with those nasty blacks and those dirty mexicans to feel high. So now you feel morally superior because you don't go down on the corner and buy drugs like all those evil people do that like to feel good for some odd reason. You also feel intellectually and socially superior because you're climbing that corporate ladder so fast because your boss is so impressed with how much work you can get done in a day, and you'll argue a point into the ground because your ass is speeding so much that the only thing that matters at that moment is that you win and your brain just won't get tired and you won't get tired of arguing like the other guy who is simply leading a normal life and probably walking away thinking "Wow, that guy sure is something!" Nope, he's just a legal speed freak who is going to rule your world. He's going to rule your world because he got to a position of power by creating an unfair advantage for himself when he continued popping those pills.
There's such a huge market for this stuff, because it motivates people. Well, I guess I'm conservative in the way that I believe you should motivate yourself and not change the course of your life and consequently everyone else's life that you might have an effect on. Find what interests you; don't just go on auto-pilot! The world is going to be filled with people that reach these positions of power and influence in an area of study in which their heart may or may not truly lie. It's unsettling and now I'm feeling that normal human feeling of day-time tiredness because I don't pop speed pills. Wow, this entry looks like a speed freak who hates speed freaks or something, hah.
Anyways, the true point of this post was to say that the Quality Intern position at the Memphis Kelloggs has been scratched so my future employment status is in limbo. Ah yes, onto the good stuff; right before I read the e-mail from Kelloggs I had just went and seen Angela Davis speak at the Rose Theatre and it was amazing! The University of Memphis has a Podcast system (I didn't even know we participated in that!) and has an mp3 available of the speech! Here's the mp3 link: Angela Davis - episode recorded 04/02/08.
A lot of what she talked about influenced some of what I wrote today I guess; particularly about non-violence and prisons. So that's the reason I called this bittersweet. Awesome lecture followed by financial uncertainty. Alright, well that's about a five-page paper! I guess I am warmed up to go ahead and read "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and write a response to it. Either I'll be warmed up or my brain will just be goo, hah. Just in case, might you spare an adderall? Haha. Goodbye peasants!
Well, yesterday was as the subject implies... bittersweet. Not too much to talk about during the day except that I have to make a 3 ft by 4 ft poster board for a statistics research project due this coming Monday. Bleh; weekends have definitely evolved from times of a escape to times of punishment for those of us who lack good time-management skills. Actually, all my teachers have piled on stuff for next week; announcing test dates that are very soon, announcing a BIG-ASS project, and assigning journal responses to lengthy short stories! So, all these unexpected things in addition to the already scheduled stuff like other tests and online homeworks that take forever; I'll be having a lot of fun hah. One thing I am thankful for is that organic chemistry does not have all these unexpected bits of work due and the next test isn't for about three weeks. Needless to say, I still have to put in about an hour or two a day of organic chemistry studying to secure a good grade on the ACS nationally standardized final and have been probably averaging 15 minutes a day! Doh!
If only I grew up in Collierville where I hear an insane proportion of the children have "learning disabilities." How odd that all these children with "learning disabilities" are straight-A students now at the high-school and college level. It's a miracle! Capitalism works! The wealth in that area has allowed them to discover a way to cure these poor rich kids of their debilitating "learning disability"! Not exactly. Actually, there is no cure because there is no medically significant problem. They just treat the symptoms with freaking SPEED! Yep, I'm on another rant about how much I hate adderall, but the theme needs to be tweaked (no pun intended) to include all the forms of ADHD medicines that are just relied on for artificial motivation and determination. There's no strong will to learn in these kids, it's all external; the drugs make them that way! There's no struggle, so there's no drive, so they don't pay attention. It's not that they can't, it's just they don't want to, but their parents want them to say they go to a pediatrician (who, in my opinion, has no right to diagnose this condition due to the massive over-diagnosis of ADHD) and get started on Adderall, Adderall XR, Ritalin, Concerta, Cylert, Dexedrine, Desoxyn (which IS actually METH!), and now the new ones like Vyvanse (time-released amphetamine pill, as in all day ridiculous drive to do everything that needs to be done) and Daytrana (a time-released Ritalin patch that actually has fewer side-effects, which translates into MORE PSYCHOLOGICALLY ADDICTIVE)!
So the parents are so happy that their kid gets better grades and the kid is so happy because they are making their parents happy! Yay! So great! So basically, once this kid gets doped up on speed for long enough, he develops these intense interests in subjects that he was not nearly as interested in in the first place. Then, across the train tracks, there's this other kid who is interested in the same subject quite naturally, but life does its magic and as he grows, time-management becomes an art that needs to be practiced in order to preserve its effectiveness. So, on one side you have a kid who pops a pill and does not even have to think about time-management because he's on auto-pilot from all the dopamine (motivation / reward / reinforcement) and norepinephrine (focus, attention to detail, physical strength/speed) that his little pill has caused to be released into the synapses of his brain. The OTHER kid does love the subject, but at times gets exhausted or just interested in other things. These are perfectly natural occurrences that have happened for all time prior to the invention, mass-production, and mass-distribution of speed for the poor little rich, unmotivated white kids.
Yes, many people stop taking ADHD medicine after finishing school, but what was the net effect of these little pills? It could have caused this person to get the job because his GPA was 0.1 points higher than this other person's because the ADHD person could put in so many more hours of auto-pilot study time because, miraculously, if you wake up tired, groggy, depressed, confused, or just a little bit "off", all you have to do is take the pill and all those silly things can go away. Normal people deal with life as it is; "ADHD kids" are given a much larger capacity to succeed then they should. This disparity in almost a mirror of the state of our health-care with respect to race; how such a higher proportion of lower-class people are in poor health. The poor remain poor and go through life without speed; though interestingly enough, poor white communities have the worst meth problems. Hmm, so everybody thinks meth is the devil's drug and so on, but the FDA gets to say who gets to become a legal addict and who doesn't.
Many people that are aware of the wide-spread abuse of ADHD medicine will go to the doctor and fake ADD/ADHD symptoms to get the medicine. This is a gray area with me because it kind of reminds of trying to solve problems of violence with more violence which just doesn't work in the long run, but these people know that other people are doing it to get ahead and this is a dog eat dog world so you better strike the iron while it's hot. So you go to the doctor and stuff and blah blah blah act like you don't even know what's going on because you're such a freaking bad case of ADHD that you don't know how you'd function without some help from the Messiah's prescription pad and the golden DEA number that allows the pharmacy to give you a known drug of abuse. Problems arise: You must exhibit the symptoms (of course), and you must also seem like someone that does not abuse or SELL drugs. Hmm, who sells drugs? Oh yeah! Black people and mexicans! Who can get into trouble if they are caught writing prescriptions to someone who sells the drugs? The doctor! So, who has a natural tendency to be racist and discriminatory in the midst of protecting their job? Right, the doctor! (You're getting pretty good at this, I might add) Who has the money? White people. Who wants the money? Everybody. Who wants the drugs? Everybody. Who can get the drugs you go to prison for? Minorities. Who wants to go to jail? Nobody. Who actually goes to jail if they are caught with illegal drugs because they can't afford a fancy lawyer? Minorities AND all poor people; especially poor minorities. So now you see how there is much incentive to get your fix by going through the motions and buying into the ADHD phenomenon. You stay out of jail. You do everything that needs to be done, leaving plenty of time for fun and games, and you don't have to be associated with those nasty blacks and those dirty mexicans to feel high. So now you feel morally superior because you don't go down on the corner and buy drugs like all those evil people do that like to feel good for some odd reason. You also feel intellectually and socially superior because you're climbing that corporate ladder so fast because your boss is so impressed with how much work you can get done in a day, and you'll argue a point into the ground because your ass is speeding so much that the only thing that matters at that moment is that you win and your brain just won't get tired and you won't get tired of arguing like the other guy who is simply leading a normal life and probably walking away thinking "Wow, that guy sure is something!" Nope, he's just a legal speed freak who is going to rule your world. He's going to rule your world because he got to a position of power by creating an unfair advantage for himself when he continued popping those pills.
There's such a huge market for this stuff, because it motivates people. Well, I guess I'm conservative in the way that I believe you should motivate yourself and not change the course of your life and consequently everyone else's life that you might have an effect on. Find what interests you; don't just go on auto-pilot! The world is going to be filled with people that reach these positions of power and influence in an area of study in which their heart may or may not truly lie. It's unsettling and now I'm feeling that normal human feeling of day-time tiredness because I don't pop speed pills. Wow, this entry looks like a speed freak who hates speed freaks or something, hah.
Anyways, the true point of this post was to say that the Quality Intern position at the Memphis Kelloggs has been scratched so my future employment status is in limbo. Ah yes, onto the good stuff; right before I read the e-mail from Kelloggs I had just went and seen Angela Davis speak at the Rose Theatre and it was amazing! The University of Memphis has a Podcast system (I didn't even know we participated in that!) and has an mp3 available of the speech! Here's the mp3 link: Angela Davis - episode recorded 04/02/08.
A lot of what she talked about influenced some of what I wrote today I guess; particularly about non-violence and prisons. So that's the reason I called this bittersweet. Awesome lecture followed by financial uncertainty. Alright, well that's about a five-page paper! I guess I am warmed up to go ahead and read "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and write a response to it. Either I'll be warmed up or my brain will just be goo, hah. Just in case, might you spare an adderall? Haha. Goodbye peasants!
Memory
(This is a recent post from my LiveJournal @ http://jerster.livejournal.com) I've decided to switch to Blogger because I want to be more involved in some type of community (online, local, online/local hybrid) and LiveJournal simply isn't the cat's meow for such things anymore. So my first two posts on here will be my two most recent posts of my LiveJournal.
Wednesday, April 2nd 2008 - 10:32 a.m. - Memory
I can now see why so many people dread taking biochemistry. We just touched on the subject today in my organic chemistry lecture and wow; so much information all at once.
I am starting to believe that I don't have a good memory, but have come up with reasons to explain the way I feel and how that it is not completely correct. To stop panic attacks and to go to sleep I take medicines that that have amnesic effects because they affect short-term memory to a moderate extent. Nowhere near as much as a drunken blackout, but just enough to where it causes me to stop attributing the memory loss to an event (or substance) and start to think that it is just me or what I've become.
I believe the potential is there for me to learn large amounts of information in little time, but my habits just do not leave me in a state conducive to that. It's not my medicine. It's not my lack of sleep. It's not the alcohol. Though all of these are contributing factors, the major problem is the lack of forming a habit conducive to learning. Homework, practice, re-writing what is in the textbook, joining a study group; these are all the things that need to be going on. What goes on now? Right. None of these. Time-management is my problem and I want to fix it. Motivation... What of it? Maybe money is a motivator for some and it could be for me, but I fall into a class that allows me to neither feel the pain of hunger in poverty nor the supposed comfort of independence in wealth. This middle-class is comfortable I guess, so where is the motivation to escape it?
Ah hah! Staying stagnant in the middle-class leads to poverty. In a welfare state, poverty can even become comfortable. I now see the problem with a welfare state. My apologies for the digression. I do not want to slip into poverty because I would probably not be comfortable there since my life thus far has been in the middle-class. I have to work to stay in the middle-class. Translation: I have to be motivated to stay in the middle-class. Substitution: I have to be motivated to make money. Oops, here we are again. Where does the motivation to make money for the future come from if there is no motivation to escape the middle-class?
One thing is for sure. Motivation is easier to obtain when you are happier. You do not have to be ecstatic; just happier. Lower the stress WITHOUT medicine (hypocritical I know, but I'm getting better). Write! My english class was cancelled and I was feeling overwhelmed by the organic chemistry lecture I just left, so I had time to do something. I was thinking about how bad my memory seems compared to a few years ago (when, I might add, it was almost photographic), then I sequed into my low motivation. I was being a child and blaming my bad attributes on other things at first, then evolved ever so slightly into feeling better, more hopeful about my situation. So, I just turned two negative, practically melancholic feelings into slightly positive feelings. If I can do this more often, then this could be just what I need. Though that involves my major obstacle of forming habits (good ones, at least), this time it seems a bit exceptional. I'm typing to myself, but it's helping. Maybe someone else will read it and do more than say "Oh kay..."
Wednesday, April 2nd 2008 - 10:32 a.m. - Memory
I can now see why so many people dread taking biochemistry. We just touched on the subject today in my organic chemistry lecture and wow; so much information all at once.
I am starting to believe that I don't have a good memory, but have come up with reasons to explain the way I feel and how that it is not completely correct. To stop panic attacks and to go to sleep I take medicines that that have amnesic effects because they affect short-term memory to a moderate extent. Nowhere near as much as a drunken blackout, but just enough to where it causes me to stop attributing the memory loss to an event (or substance) and start to think that it is just me or what I've become.
I believe the potential is there for me to learn large amounts of information in little time, but my habits just do not leave me in a state conducive to that. It's not my medicine. It's not my lack of sleep. It's not the alcohol. Though all of these are contributing factors, the major problem is the lack of forming a habit conducive to learning. Homework, practice, re-writing what is in the textbook, joining a study group; these are all the things that need to be going on. What goes on now? Right. None of these. Time-management is my problem and I want to fix it. Motivation... What of it? Maybe money is a motivator for some and it could be for me, but I fall into a class that allows me to neither feel the pain of hunger in poverty nor the supposed comfort of independence in wealth. This middle-class is comfortable I guess, so where is the motivation to escape it?
Ah hah! Staying stagnant in the middle-class leads to poverty. In a welfare state, poverty can even become comfortable. I now see the problem with a welfare state. My apologies for the digression. I do not want to slip into poverty because I would probably not be comfortable there since my life thus far has been in the middle-class. I have to work to stay in the middle-class. Translation: I have to be motivated to stay in the middle-class. Substitution: I have to be motivated to make money. Oops, here we are again. Where does the motivation to make money for the future come from if there is no motivation to escape the middle-class?
One thing is for sure. Motivation is easier to obtain when you are happier. You do not have to be ecstatic; just happier. Lower the stress WITHOUT medicine (hypocritical I know, but I'm getting better). Write! My english class was cancelled and I was feeling overwhelmed by the organic chemistry lecture I just left, so I had time to do something. I was thinking about how bad my memory seems compared to a few years ago (when, I might add, it was almost photographic), then I sequed into my low motivation. I was being a child and blaming my bad attributes on other things at first, then evolved ever so slightly into feeling better, more hopeful about my situation. So, I just turned two negative, practically melancholic feelings into slightly positive feelings. If I can do this more often, then this could be just what I need. Though that involves my major obstacle of forming habits (good ones, at least), this time it seems a bit exceptional. I'm typing to myself, but it's helping. Maybe someone else will read it and do more than say "Oh kay..."
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